Prayers Answered... (LONG)

I would like to update you on our past couple of weeks and thank you ALL for your faithful prayers...


Two weeks ago, April 3rd, we had an appointment at my OBGYN with an ultrasound for the big anatomy scan. I was exactly 19 weeks and was so excited to get to see the babies and confirm their genders (we had an early gender scan an an ultrasound three weeks before.) For those of you who don't know, an anatomy scan is usually done between 18-20 weeks and for women carrying one baby, this is often their first ultrasound, sometimes their only ultrasound and gender can also be determined at this time. Because of the frequent ultrasounds that come with twin pregnancies, this was our 4th ultrasound and to me, just another opportunity to see our sweet ones. What many women, including myself don't think about, is that this is also a diagnostic scan... they basically look at all organs and bones of baby's body and make sure everything is developing appropriately. They are kind of looking for anything "wrong". We had our scan, and the ultrasound tech acted as if everything was perfect. 


We then went into the exam room and waited quite a while for the doctor to come back and see us. As he entered the room, I remember him saying "Well, everything looks perfect with your little girl, we did find a couple concerns with your little boy." My heart sank and the rest of the appointment was almost an out-of-body experience. I am a pretty laid back person and never assume the worst, I don't think that is a good way to go about life. However, sometimes I am so "sunny" that I assume everything will be perfect, and I completely assumed and felt as if good health of our babies would be an absolute given. 


He went on to explain that he found some "bright spots" on baby boy's heart, bowel and kidneys and they can be indicators of downs syndrome. He handed me a paper that had FAQ's on an Echogenic Intracaiac Focus. He said many times its just a calcium build up on the heart, and that everything is usually okay but the fact that they found spots on his bowel and kidneys led them to the conclusion that I should see a maternal fetal medicine group for a level 2 ultrasound. All I heard was potential chromosomal abnormalities and here is a paper! I felt sick, the fact that something COULD be wrong with one of our babies broke my heart. I spent the next 48 hours trying to absorb all of this, shedding many tears and praying many prayers.


Being a nurse, I overrode my better judgment and decided to google what this condition was (this is usually a bad idea, as it usually gives you the worse case scenario and scares you to death, but I couldn't help it.) Echogenic spots are any kind of bright spot that shows up on an ultrasound and they are considered to be "soft makers" for chromosomal abnormalities. Hard markers for Down's include clubbed feet, extra skin folds on the neck, absence of nasal bone, short femur bones and heart defects. We knew our baby had none of these. The more I googled, the more encouraging stories I found. Most of these spots were nothing, and often went away in the third trimester. Technology is getting so advanced that it is starting to pick up every little thing... 10 years ago, these would never be detected unless they were SO big that chromosomal abnormalities were almost a given.


I can't tell you how God used this scary time in my life and turned it into a beautiful season of reliance upon Him. The first two days I kept feeling like this was a bad dream that I needed to wake up from, and every time I felt this, I would lift my concerns up to Him and lay them at his feet. The night of our ultrasound I went to bible study and told the ladies in my group what was going on. I was emotionally broken and was so thankful as they laid their hands on me and prayed for our sweet babies. The study that night was when God takes you to a "wilderness"... a dark, scary or uncertain time of your life. We learned why God does this, the purpose behind it and how to manage your way through these wilderness seasons of life. I spent the next two weeks thanking God for bringing me to this scary place. Had everything been fine, there is no way I would turn to Him in such a humble place of dependence. I was so thankful to be in a place where I NEEDED God. TRULY needed him, so much so, there would be no way I could get through the net few weeks with out His comfort, strength and guidance. God often brings you to these vulnerable points in life so that He can reveal his miraculous goodness. I prayed that God would miraculously heal our baby boy. Our will and God's will do not always line up, and I knew that he might choose to give us a special needs baby. I often pray for God's will but I also know that we serve a miraculous, powerful, almighty God who is ABLE and sometimes we have to pray EXPECTING God's goodness. My prayers consisted of a healing request, but an understanding that if this was NOT God's plan, then I would PRAISE him and give him GLORY for giving us a special needs child. God does not make mistakes and if this was his plan for us I would gladly accept it and would love my baby no less. Every parent wants every opportunity for their baby, so of course his health was a desire of mine, but I also knew that I would Praise God NO MATTER what the circumstance may be. The next 2 weeks were a beautiful time of humbly coming before God, asking for his miracles and thanking him for ALL things. I was so at peace.


Two weeks FLEW by and before I knew it, it was tuesday night and my mom came in to Cincinnati so she could be with Luke and I at the ultrasound on Wednesday. Wednesday morning came and my stomach was very nervous as I waited for our appointment but as the morning passed, peace overcame me. We went to the maternal fetal medicine place and were escorted to the ultrasound room where we began the scan. The tech was so sweet and explained things as she went along, every step of the way. It was basically just like my anatomy scan the week before, she just spent more time and gave more explanation. She first scanned baby A, our little girl, and everything looked perfect. While she was scanning her, I kept dreading the idea of what we might find on baby boy, but by the time we were ready to start scanning baby boy, I had relaxed and felt SO peaceful with the whole thing. We began to scan baby Boy and everything was looking good. We got to the heart, bowel and kidneys and she said she could MAYBE see what they might have thought looked funny, but in fact, it was NOTHING. The spots were not even bright enough to be considered echogenic. She said the "bright" spot they saw on the ultrasound were his heart muscles (chordae tendineae) which are skinny long strings that when close together, can show up "bright". She said the there were NO bright spots on the bowel OR the kidney and that everything looked fine. All I could do was to keep praising God, thanking Him for answered prayer! The doctor then came back to the room and spoke with me and told me that they tried their hardest to find something wrong, but couldn't find anything because everything was perfectly healthy. This doctor had the sweetest spirit and best bedside manner. She told me with my age, and perfect ultrasound that my risk for downs was that of anyone else's, extremely low. She answered any questions I had an told me that the case was closed, and that I had nothing to worry about.


Thanks be to God! He is SO good and revealed himself to me in such a POWERFUL way during this time. You can never know light, with out first experiencing darkness. I am so thankful to all of you who have been praying, I know you showed up in MASSES and God heard you. Thank you so much. It puts things into perspective and I couldn't be more thankful for the news we received today. May ALL the glory go to Him. 

Fun ultrasound facts...
Baby A (girl) weighed 15 oz. and was measuring right on time. She is head down, which is GREAT, hopefully she will stay like this. Baby A is closest to my cervix so as long as she is head down on delivery day, I can attempt a vaginal birth.


Baby B (boy) is measuring one day ahead and weighed 16 oz. The doctor was so pleased that they are so similar in size. With twins you can often have one weighing much more than the other. He is transverse (sideways, above baby A) right now, so hopefully by delivery day he will decide to join his sister, head down.)

Baby Girl Above

Baby B above

  
I will be announcing baby names soon :)