Week one with sweet baby Walker

I realized I never updated my blog to let you readers know that we had our sweet baby on May 1st. He weighted 8lbs 7oz and was 21.5 inches long. Most of you follow me on instagram or facebook and are probably well aware of his birth by now and are probably a little sick of your feeds being blown up with baby pics :) He arrived pretty unexpectantly and I am so excited to share his birth story on the blog very shortly.
I thought I would update with how our first week went. I ended up not getting my VBAC, and had another C-section so Luke and I and baby Walker stayed 3 nights in the hospital. These were some of the most precious memories in my life. It reminded me so much of our hospital stay with the twins, just soaking in such awesome intimate family time getting to know our new precious addition. Luke never left my side and took (and continues to still take) such AMAZING care of me. Seriously, he is the picture of "in sickness" and in health. He has seen all the postpartum ugly and just loves me right through it. I am SO thankful for this amazing man to call mine. We just spent hours napping, talking, snuggling our new boy and just falling deeper in love with one another. We never turned the TV on and enjoyed sweet visitors coming to see us. The twins came twice and it was the most precious thing. While we loved our time together, bonding with Walker, our hearts missed them SO MUCH. We had an incredible family friend take care of them as soon as we knew I was going to the hospital and she watched them for over 24 hours until my parents were able to catch a flight in, and we just can't thank her enough. My parents arrived late saturday night and stayed with us until the next Saturday. They were a HUGE help with the twins. They were basically in charge of Jack Henry and Hadley all week, which was a HUGE help transitioning into our new life. They made so many sweet memories and we are so thankful. One Walker's one week birthday, Luke's parents came in for the weekend and were such an amazing help as well. We are blessed with great family! 
I missed the twins so much that week and while they had so much fun, they didn't have much routine, order or discipline and it was really starting to affect them. Poor Jack Henry had a few hard moments our first week adjusting with baby Walker. He was always so sweet with him and never acted out against him, but he was acting out a lot, behaviorally, and you could just tell he was processing a lot of deep emotion. Our family has been gone 48 hours now and he is already doing SO MUCH better getting to spend more time with mommy and daddy and it looks like everything is getting better each day for him. I have Luke with me most of this week (week 2) which is a LIFE SAVER. I am still recovering physically, and I am still very emotional with all my hormones coming down and this week is really helping me transition into what my days will look like by myself with all three next week. The twins only have preschool next tuesday and thursday and then they are out for the summer. This will be a busy and challenging summer having all 3 all day every day but I am ready to take on our new normal. I could cry thinking about the twins being finished with their school year as they turned 2 just a few weeks before the class started, I had just found out I was pregnant when school started and now BAM just like that its over. My postpartum hear just CAN NOT take it. 
That leads me into my hormonal mess.  I was just like this with the twins and can't remember when it ended but I do not have the blues at all, it is just pure emotion. JOYFUL emotion and overwhelming emotion. My heart could feel like it might burst at any moment. I can be fine one minute and then reading a book to one of the twins I might break down, or hearing something sweet they say. All I have to do is look at Walker and I am pretty much toast and same for my sweet hubby. All I have to do is tell him how amazing he has been and then the tears are on. We usually laugh it through since it is so ridiculous.  I am ready to feel my more self again and be more in charge of my emotions but then again, I have a friend who told me great advice, to embrace the tears. I know God made me this way for a reason and I am just going to embrace this season and let them flow! I know that I will be back to myself before too long. 
Physical recovery seems to improve more and more each day but it is still a journey and I am very much ready to be back to myself.
Now for how my little bear is doing... He is simply perfection. He has such a laid back and sweet temperament and hardly EVER cries. Like seriously, I am writing this during week 2 so we have seen a few short moments of crying but if I was writing this week one, I would say this little guy DOESNT cry. He cried a lot the first hour he was born but since then he has been so happy and content. 
We are exclusively breast feeding him, just like the twins, and he is a nursing CHAMP. I think only nursing one, and having already nursed twins makes it ALOT easier but also, he is more a natural than they were too ( being born 10 days later than them makes a huge difference I think) He is on a 3 hour (sometimes 2.5) schedule and is following it to a tee) If he was the only baby I had to care for life would be a EASY, but throwing in two 2 year old complicates it in the most beautiful way possible. 
I just wish I could slow down time. It just goes my WAY too fast. I am trying to soak in each precious moment. I think all moms know what I mean, I love my children so much it makes my heart hurt. Luke and I often say its a love so strong, it makes us sad. But we love each stage the twins are in MORE and MORE so I continue to remind myself of that when I get tearful about sweet baby Walker getting bigger each day. 
My pregnant belly is gone (duh :) ) and that makes me sad too. Now that I have him in my arms it changes the whole pregnancy in my mind. All the memories I made in life over the last 9 months seem much more significant knowing that HE was the one I was carrying. Oh how I love him so. Pregnancy being over also means time ticks each day with this new little one, so you pregnant mommas, embrace and enjoy your pregnancy, because even though having your sweet baby here in this world is even better, pregnancy is such a special time, and such a sweet gift. 
And to end this long entry, I just have to say how INCREDIBLE it is to have such a sweet blessing draw you so very close to Jesus. Every time I look at this little gift, I can't help but be overwhelmed and sing HIS praises. HE gave him to me, HE made him, and HE has brought him here safe and sound. Thank you LORD. It really makes you understand love that God had for his son, Jesus and the unimaginable sacrifice that was given. God KNEW this was the boy for us, and after our painful miscarriage and infertility drugs, he knew all along that our Walker Luke would be the perfect part of his plan. Thank you Lord. 

Here are some pictures from our first week home :) Hospital pics coming soon with birth story. Love you readers.

38 Weeks with baby Walker...

No comparison this week because I had already delivered my twins by this point! Today I am 38+5 and we are getting SO excited!!! I have been having Braxton Hicks pretty regularly and today I had some contractions with a little crampy feeling, not painful but not painless and I had three in a row 9 minutes apart, but then nothing for the rest of the day. So no labor yet, but I think I am slowly progressing. I am on the birthing ball a lot, and walking lots, and drinking my tea and taking my evening primrose oil. I don't think I am going to into labor on my own before this friday (my 39 week appointment) but anything is possible but I am thinking and hoping (and PRAYING) that I will have at least progressed as far as my cervix goes and I'm thinking he might be a little lower too! I will keep you posted on Friday with my appointment and at this point we are at 9 days or less! I don't think my MD is going to let me go much past my due date. 
As far as the pregnancy, its going great! I feel very pregnant but still feeling good! I am up 38 lbs, which is 2 lbs over my goal in my brain but I am TOTALLY cool with this because I know I am almost finished with the pregnancy :) Plus I know with my high fluid levels, a lot of this is water weight. I am sleeping pretty well and overall pretty comfortable. I ran a bunch of errands yesterday and my belly felt really tight and uncomfortable and my legs feel kind of weak and just overall weary. Exited to see how this will all unfold! God is just so good and just loving each moment of these last days and getting SO excited to meet this little bear. 

Texas Bluebonnett Pictures 2015

I can't believe this is our third spring in Texas! To look at the twins bluebonnett pictures from 2013 click here and to see 2014 click here. Last year we found the BEST field of bluebonnetts, so we returned there about 2 weeks ago and when I started to take pictures I realized my SD card was not in the camera :( BUMMER. We had so much rain the past 2 weeks, we hadn't had a good time to go back and take pics and with baby Walker's arrival quickly approaching I decided we had to go today. I was so sad to get to the field and find that they were pretty much gone :( so faded and barley there but we took a few anyway. The twins weren't really cooperating and I am so super pregnant so we just got what we got :) I love Texas and love taking these pics each year! 

38 Week Doctors Appointment...

WARNING: This post is kind of boring. Its just a lot of medical info mostly for my family and for my own record :)

Today I had my doctor's appointment with my first cervical check. I have been a bit anxious about this. All week we have just spent time in prayer, asking for Walker to drop, and I have been praying for encouragement from my doctor and for peace no matter the outcome. My doc is great, he hasn't seemed "C-section happy" but he also hasn't been like super encouraging and "lets do whatever it takes" to make this happen, like my MD back in Cincinnati. I am totally fine and okay with a C-section as a LAST result but I want someone to fight for my VBAC. I told him today he would be my hero if he could VBAC me! He smiled and I think he gets that I really want this. I also told him I don't think I am done having babies and that is what concerns me having repeated sections. He told me he has done 5 on a woman before and it really depends on how you scar. I thought today if Walker had not dropped, he would ask to go ahead and schedule a C section, but it was not that way at all, and thats all I hoped for and prayed for.  He said lets just give this time. Today I asked if he could strip my membranes (I had that done with the twins, even though it didn't start labor, I felt like it couldn't hurt to ask) but since I am Beta strep positive, he advised not to do it so he wouldn't introduce that to the baby ( 30% of pregnant women have this and it just means you have to be given antibiotics in the early stages of labor to protect baby coming out during birth) but he said if I progress more and we wanted to induce, he could strip and give me antibiotics to get things going. He really wanted to see SOME sort of progress with my cervix if a VBAC was wanted so he did a quick check and we found out I am...
1 cm dilated
50% effaced 
and baby has not "dropped"
He was really encouraged by this. He says he thinks I will be an excellent VBAC candidate, the only determining factor will be if baby will come down and engage in my pelvis, being that he is a big boy.
I also found out I have borderline "polyhydramnios" I had this with both twins too... its high levels of amniotic fluid in the baby's sac so we are going to continue to watch this to make sure it doesn't get too high.
He said, already having a C-section, he can't give any prostaglandins (which ripen the cervix) so the fact I am 50% thinned out on my own, is good news. But that he can give pitocin in small doses if needed. He can also break my water.
So a lot is still up in the air. Will I go into labor on my own? (IDEAL, and the sooner the better since he will only get bigger) will I need some help to get things going? Or will I go ahead and get a C-section? Only God knows, and I feel totally at peace knowing that He is in control. At the end of the day healthy momma, healthy baby is what we are striving for. I will continue to pray for the Lord's intervention in this whole situation and cling to his goodness and his presence throughout the whole process. 

Now we continue to pray for Walker to descend, for labor to start on it's own, for safety and progress with my cervix. 

37 Weeks...

I can officially say I have never been pregnant this long before! I am 37 weeks and 5 days today, and delivered my twins at 37 weeks and 4 days so considering neither of my babies needed extra care and I am considered "full term" we are welcoming Walker's arrival now! He can come any time now! (And with how big he is and the fact I want a VBAC, the sooner, the better :))
I was reading my 37 week post with the twins that you can read HERE and it makes me realize how EASY the end of this pregnancy has been compared to the end of the carrying the twins. I think I blocked the last 11 days or so carrying the twins because it was SO VERY physically challenging but every once and a while, I can remember! This has been such a sweet time and while it has it's uncomfortable moments, the end of this pregnancy is so smooth and lovely and NOTHING compared to the end of the twins. 

No visible swelling yet, my thighs are a little puffy but it honestly might just be some chunk I have put on :) and same with my face... can't tell if its water or a little weight. 

I am eagerly awaiting Friday's cervical check where I will know lots of more of how labor is going to go down. 

Still praying that he comes on his own and a VBAC can be achieved here. So the next update (assuming there is one) I won't have a picture to compare it to, because I would have already delivered the twins by then.

Here we are at 37 weeks... 

Texas baby shower

Last Saturday at 37 weeks, my baby shower was thrown for sweet baby Walker. My precious friends Michelle, Lindsay, Emily and Katie threw me a Texas themed shower which was just beautiful. They put so much thought into every detail. I had so many sweet friends there celebrating baby Walker and I just feel SO blessed. Here are some pictures from the beautiful shower...