I realized I never updated my blog to let you readers know that we had our sweet baby on May 1st. He weighted 8lbs 7oz and was 21.5 inches long. Most of you follow me on instagram or facebook and are probably well aware of his birth by now and are probably a little sick of your feeds being blown up with baby pics :) He arrived pretty unexpectantly and I am so excited to share his birth story on the blog very shortly.
I thought I would update with how our first week went. I ended up not getting my VBAC, and had another C-section so Luke and I and baby Walker stayed 3 nights in the hospital. These were some of the most precious memories in my life. It reminded me so much of our hospital stay with the twins, just soaking in such awesome intimate family time getting to know our new precious addition. Luke never left my side and took (and continues to still take) such AMAZING care of me. Seriously, he is the picture of "in sickness" and in health. He has seen all the postpartum ugly and just loves me right through it. I am SO thankful for this amazing man to call mine. We just spent hours napping, talking, snuggling our new boy and just falling deeper in love with one another. We never turned the TV on and enjoyed sweet visitors coming to see us. The twins came twice and it was the most precious thing. While we loved our time together, bonding with Walker, our hearts missed them SO MUCH. We had an incredible family friend take care of them as soon as we knew I was going to the hospital and she watched them for over 24 hours until my parents were able to catch a flight in, and we just can't thank her enough. My parents arrived late saturday night and stayed with us until the next Saturday. They were a HUGE help with the twins. They were basically in charge of Jack Henry and Hadley all week, which was a HUGE help transitioning into our new life. They made so many sweet memories and we are so thankful. One Walker's one week birthday, Luke's parents came in for the weekend and were such an amazing help as well. We are blessed with great family!
I missed the twins so much that week and while they had so much fun, they didn't have much routine, order or discipline and it was really starting to affect them. Poor Jack Henry had a few hard moments our first week adjusting with baby Walker. He was always so sweet with him and never acted out against him, but he was acting out a lot, behaviorally, and you could just tell he was processing a lot of deep emotion. Our family has been gone 48 hours now and he is already doing SO MUCH better getting to spend more time with mommy and daddy and it looks like everything is getting better each day for him. I have Luke with me most of this week (week 2) which is a LIFE SAVER. I am still recovering physically, and I am still very emotional with all my hormones coming down and this week is really helping me transition into what my days will look like by myself with all three next week. The twins only have preschool next tuesday and thursday and then they are out for the summer. This will be a busy and challenging summer having all 3 all day every day but I am ready to take on our new normal. I could cry thinking about the twins being finished with their school year as they turned 2 just a few weeks before the class started, I had just found out I was pregnant when school started and now BAM just like that its over. My postpartum hear just CAN NOT take it.
That leads me into my hormonal mess. I was just like this with the twins and can't remember when it ended but I do not have the blues at all, it is just pure emotion. JOYFUL emotion and overwhelming emotion. My heart could feel like it might burst at any moment. I can be fine one minute and then reading a book to one of the twins I might break down, or hearing something sweet they say. All I have to do is look at Walker and I am pretty much toast and same for my sweet hubby. All I have to do is tell him how amazing he has been and then the tears are on. We usually laugh it through since it is so ridiculous. I am ready to feel my more self again and be more in charge of my emotions but then again, I have a friend who told me great advice, to embrace the tears. I know God made me this way for a reason and I am just going to embrace this season and let them flow! I know that I will be back to myself before too long.
Physical recovery seems to improve more and more each day but it is still a journey and I am very much ready to be back to myself.
Now for how my little bear is doing... He is simply perfection. He has such a laid back and sweet temperament and hardly EVER cries. Like seriously, I am writing this during week 2 so we have seen a few short moments of crying but if I was writing this week one, I would say this little guy DOESNT cry. He cried a lot the first hour he was born but since then he has been so happy and content.
We are exclusively breast feeding him, just like the twins, and he is a nursing CHAMP. I think only nursing one, and having already nursed twins makes it ALOT easier but also, he is more a natural than they were too ( being born 10 days later than them makes a huge difference I think) He is on a 3 hour (sometimes 2.5) schedule and is following it to a tee) If he was the only baby I had to care for life would be a EASY, but throwing in two 2 year old complicates it in the most beautiful way possible.
I just wish I could slow down time. It just goes my WAY too fast. I am trying to soak in each precious moment. I think all moms know what I mean, I love my children so much it makes my heart hurt. Luke and I often say its a love so strong, it makes us sad. But we love each stage the twins are in MORE and MORE so I continue to remind myself of that when I get tearful about sweet baby Walker getting bigger each day.
My pregnant belly is gone (duh :) ) and that makes me sad too. Now that I have him in my arms it changes the whole pregnancy in my mind. All the memories I made in life over the last 9 months seem much more significant knowing that HE was the one I was carrying. Oh how I love him so. Pregnancy being over also means time ticks each day with this new little one, so you pregnant mommas, embrace and enjoy your pregnancy, because even though having your sweet baby here in this world is even better, pregnancy is such a special time, and such a sweet gift.
And to end this long entry, I just have to say how INCREDIBLE it is to have such a sweet blessing draw you so very close to Jesus. Every time I look at this little gift, I can't help but be overwhelmed and sing HIS praises. HE gave him to me, HE made him, and HE has brought him here safe and sound. Thank you LORD. It really makes you understand love that God had for his son, Jesus and the unimaginable sacrifice that was given. God KNEW this was the boy for us, and after our painful miscarriage and infertility drugs, he knew all along that our Walker Luke would be the perfect part of his plan. Thank you Lord.
Here are some pictures from our first week home :) Hospital pics coming soon with birth story. Love you readers.