He gives rest to the weary...

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Hello friends.
I am sorry for my lack of posting these days. I have come to realize there are certain seasons of my life that are more blog-able and certain seasons that just aren't. I created this blog in hopes of a baby and God swept me off my feet when he blessed be twice over. Ya'll have been beyond precious in sharing in my joy and journey to their birth. In addition to my pregnancy, this has been a place for overwhelming large amounts of baby pictures as well as some recipes and home decor when I can manage.

Our house is coming along but oh so slowly. If I had a bigger budget I could move faster but I realize staying at home with my sweet peas might slow down my house projects but is SO VERY worth it. Isn't it amazing that we can never be content in our material world? While I am tackling projects left and right, I still don't have one room 100% complete. As soon as rooms becoming complete I will take you on a little house tour :)

My prayer for this blog from the start was to be a place of encouragement. The Lord has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams through ya'll's relations in this blog. I have had countless readers all over the world who struggle with infertility reach out to me on here and my greatest joy has been to be able to relate to women who are hurting in this area. 

I always want to be transparent with ya'll so that God can use me to relate to you in any way. You read about my battle with PCOS and my miscarriage and now I just have to be honest with you that trying for baby number three is beginning to become emotionally difficult. With out going into too much detail about trying for baby three (that is a whole lot of info, enough for a post in itself on a different day) we have been not preventing pregnancy since a year ago today. It was the day after the twins first birthday that we decided we would "just see what would happen" and it has been since January of 2014 that we have been trying with medical help. I am currently in the process of round 4 this year in hopes of another baby. Again, I will give details of our journey later, details that are actually encouraging, but today I just feel weary.

I feel weary that it has already taken longer this time around than it did the first time around. I feel so encouraged that I am able to carry a full term pregnancy but for some reason I thought it would be easier once I was able to already have a pregnancy under my belt. Friends, it so hard when you struggle with infertility. There are so many things that I feel right now that make me feel guilty. Things that only someone who struggle with this could understand. If I said them all out loud it would just sound like a selfish pity party. 

I could go on and on about the goodness of God to me, through this. He has blessed me unimaginably, and I would not change one thing about my road to conceiving the twins. That is why, why it is hard to see now, I know that once I finally do become pregnant again, I will appreciate all the Lord has revealed to me through this specific journey. 

But today, my heart is overwhelmed. It is sad. And it is longing for the desires the Lord has placed on my heart, to have more children. I am sad that I have PCOS and sad that I have to take meds and try so so hard to achieve something that to some women is so very easy. But what gives me joy than anything is to know that He is enough. He is enough. If all that I have is hope in Christ, its all I need. If I look at what I already have on top of all that, my mind is simply blown with His goodness. 

When my heart is overwhelmed like it is today, I can come to Him for rest. And that friends, is a beautiful thing. Jesus, I CAN'T do this on my own. Lord, I need your help. Settle and quiet my heart and let me rest in you.

I know many of you are going through trials WAY more than this. There is so much on my heart with what is going on over in the middle east and I know this post could seem trivial
to some of you in comparison, so my hope is that I did not offend. I am thankful for a God who hears our cries no matter how big or small. 

How many of you sweet friends have days when you need to just rest in Him? Sweet sisters who are reading this right now, and are longing for a sweet baby, He can give you rest.

I'm sure I will wake up tomorrow, sunny and ready to tackle this baby making journey but for now, I need rest.

I'm sorry for my quietness here on the blog. Just know I am sorting a lot in my heart right now and I will be back it again soon!

Love you friends and thanks for hearing me out :)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 


  1. I'm so sorry Kathleen. I, too, have PCOS. Our journeys are much the same; I used chlomid to help conceive my first son, and it worked on the first round! It took us over a year and a half to conceive our second son using chlomid. Don't ever lose hope. God is using your trials to reach others for His Kingdom. Blessings to you.
    Shana (amakajoys.blogspot.com)

  2. Dear One, You are precious. I will pray for you as you struggle emotionally. Life is just so hard sometimes. You have been so helpful to so many…the least we can do is pray for you.

  3. I just said a prayer for you. Always keep God first. He's the only one that can give us strength to get through the hard times. I know it's easier said than done....but just trust in His timing. He knows best. Keep your chin up. Stop "trying" if you know what I mean. Give it to God and I'm sure it'll just happen...probably when you least expect it. :)' Keep the faith!!!!!!!

    1. Thank you so much. You are always so encouraging to me. You and your precious family are beautiful.

  4. So...here we go: attempt to comment #2 (fingers crossed ;). I read and re-read and read this post again..each time aching a little more for you. I can't say that I understand "infertility" per say or PCOS, but I do understand trying without results for a lengthy period of time and I also unfortunately understand the pain of miscarriage. After we had Kennedy, we decided to try when she turned two but we did not have Avery until Kennedy was over 3.5 years old. When you are growing up and you dream of being married and of having kids you can't imagine that you'll struggle in either area and then when you do, you lean into the Lord knowing it's you're only hope but it doesn't make it easier to understand....it doesn't make it easy either...it only gives you the constant reassurance that God is bigger and you convince yourself to trust knowing HIS plan is more perfect than ours. Even removed from my painful season, it crops up when I read things like this and or talk to friends (I have two who are struggling and have been to conceive as well) and I just have a hard time understanding the WHY Lord part. Why? Why? It's one of those questions that as believers we just can't have answered right now and it's hard. I'm thankful though, that you've shared....that you're willing to be transparent about being weary and struggling despite knowing God has you in his mighty hand. We aren't super humans with super powers. Because we love the Lord doesn't mean bad things don't happen and that we don't hurt like crazy at times...it just means we know it's a season because the Lord will redeem and He will. When I read my devotion I particularly thought of my friends who are struggling and it seems to reiterate some of what you've shared from your heart but I thought it might lend encouragement/support to you as well. It's from the August 12th entry of Jesus Calling. It says: "Come to Me when you are weak and weary. Rest snugly in My everlasting arms. I do not despise your weakness, My child. Actually, it draws Me closer to you because weakness stirs up My compassion - My yearning to help. Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been.
    Do not compare yourself with others who seem to skip along their life-paths with ease. Their journeys have been different from yours, and I have gifted them with abundant energy. I have gifted you with fragility, providing opportunities for your spirit to blossom in My Presence. Accept this gift as a sacred treasure: delicate, yet glowing with brilliant Light. Rather than struggling to disguise or deny your weakness, allow me to bless you richly through it." So powerful, right? I love that you've opted not to disguise, but to open yourself to blessing and I hope that you feel blessed by prayers, encouragement and this word from this devotional. I know our stories are not the same but I could never have imagined that 10 months after we FINALLY conceived Avery, we wold be completely surprised with the unimaginable blessing that is now Greyson. Hugs to you and prayers of course.

    1. Lindsy, you can't imagine what your words mean to me. Thank you for allowing the Lord to speak to me through you. August 12 was the day I was hurting and that is the PERFECT devo. I am so blessed to know you through the twins and sweet Grey being so close in age. I am so thankful for God bringing you into the blogging life to encourage me. I am so thankful. Thank you and I am sorry you walked that road too, thankful you are encouraging me through it.

    2. and thank you for retyping!!!! :)

  5. Praying for you during this difficult season. Continue to trust in God's perfect timing.

    What a great job you are doing with your sweet little ones! I am always so encouraged by your words!

  6. So thankful the devotional was helpful and encouraging - you are more than welcome! Hopefully one day we can get all these cuties together!

  7. Hi Kathleen, thanks so much for sharing your heart and being so honest about where you are at. I too was diagnosed with PCOS in my early 20's and can relate so closely to everything you are saying here. The cycle of hope and sadness can be very exhausting over the months, but you are so right our God is able to give us strength, hope, peace, and comfort time and time again. I decided about a year into trying to concieve my second, following one beautiful baby and one very sad miscarriage, to also blog my experience. I found it helpful to document the detials of the fertility treatments, along with the ways in which God was ever present through it all. If you ever felt like checking it out, you can find it here: thompsonalicia13.wordpress.com
    Praying for you sister.

  8. Hi Kathleen- I believe I found your blog through Pinterest (I think from your darling maternity pictures!), and I occasionally read your posts. I enjoy reading about your kids, home improvement projects, and your faith. I read this post yesterday and I can relate to your feelings. My husband and I have been trying to start a family and recently it has become more difficult for me to stay positive, not every day but some days. I found a blog post (through Pinterest, again! :)) and it was a really good read for me. It gave me new insight and encouragement, and I shared it with my husband as well. Your posts are so encouraging, one of the reasons I enjoy reading, so I wanted to try to reach out to you. I hope you enjoy this post. It really helped me and I hope it helps others as well!


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