Our road to getting pregnant with babies #4&5...

Monday, August 14, 2017

Hi friends! If you have been reading my blog for a while now, you know that we have had an incredible journey of trying to conceive, fertility problems. and pregnancy loss. You can read about my other two pregnancies HERE and HERE and you can read about my miscarriages HERE and HERE
I will say that with each loss and each time of trying again, it hasn't been easy but it has certainly been easier this time around, already having three happy and healthy babies. I feel SO blessed to have the three babies that I do, and I know that my body IS capable of pregnancy and carrying full term babies. Not ever having kids and wondering if its something you'll be able to do was a much harder thought to grasp. Having already walked down this road, you just have a more seasoned approach and  a deep trust with God but please know there were several teary and weary days. I feel like I am blessed beyond measure with my three, but always have felt like we weren't done and no matter how few or many children you have, every woman yearns for more babies until her family feels complete. 
I knew Walker would not be my last baby, or at least we didn't want him to be our last. So last June 2016 we began to not prevent. He was 13 months and we thought it would probably take a year just like our other pregnancies did (and it DID) in October we discovered I was pregnant for the first time without any medical help! We were thrilled but ended up loosing the pregnancy and I had a D&C on November 1st. We tried a couple more months and since I continued to have no periods (from my PCOS) we decided we needed some meds to help me ovulate and get cycles once again. Without this incredible medicine I do not ovulate at all. 
With the twins we took Clomid which has anywhere from a 5-10% chance of multiples (we were in the 5-10% minority and with Walker we took femara, a newer drug to help you ovulate but has less negative side effects and a small chance of multiples 0-4%, some doctors say no increased chance. We took this with Walker and got our singleton! So when it was time to try again, my doctor put me on the lowest dose of femara again, and we were sure we would get just one baby. We tried three cycles in a row on the femara and were unsuccessful each month. I got pregnant with Jack Henry and Hadley on my third medicated cycle. I got pregnant the first medicated cycle when trying for Walker, but lost that baby and tried 4 more months and got pregnant the fourth time with Walker. So when I was going into try for the fourth month this time around, I began to worry, if I didn't get pregnant this time, it would be the longest I had ever tried with medication. My doctor told me it usually takes 3-6 months so I began to wonder, if I make it month 6, without any luck, then what? Will he let me keep trying or cut me off and send me to a reproductive endocrinologist? I couldn't even think about drastic measures like IVF for baby number FOUR. I felt like maybe I would accept the three that I have and maybe adopt if that was what God was wanting me to do. I tried to not let my mind go that far, but there were nights where I went there. 
Month four came and I began to feel weary. But THAT was my month!!! It is incredible that each time I felt like I couldn't do it anymore, I was blessed with a baby. I can't wait to share with you finding out I was pregnant and then finding out it was twins. Thats my next post.
Please weary sisters, know there is hope. If you look at me having 5 kids (5 and under) theres no way you would know I deal with infertility and loss but I am living proof of a miraculous God who answers prayers and who is so so gracious. Not everyones prayers will be answered in the ways mine was. And there are days where I am like, WOW Lord, this is A LOT! But Jesus is helping me through every hard day, and if you have PCOS, there is HOPE!
I am 30 years old and have figured I have spent 3 years (10% of my life) trying to get pregnant, and friends, it is HARD. But God is so so good. This is very very likely (unless God changes our hearts after these babies arrivals) our last pregnancy. We feel like our family will be completed. I am soaking up every moment of this pregnancy but am also okay putting this chapter behind me. Trying and trying and trying for babies. Now my husband and I can now practice all we want without the pressure of baby making, just fun :) More soon friends!

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